If you know my 3 year old daughter, you’d know that she has little doll that she affectionately calls “Baby” . We don’t go anywhere without Baby…to sleep, to the store, to the bathroom….you get the picture. She loves that doll, and I’m pretty sure she’ll be sleeping with that thing when she’s 25!
Last week while I was standing in the kitchen making dinner, I heard Chloe who was sitting on the couch start saying, “I can’t find my Baby.” At first I just assumed she was looking for it and went about my business, but her simple statement turned into to crying and whining about not being able to find her baby. I poked my head in the living room and asked if she had looked for it - perfectly logical question right? This set off a royal screaming fit about how she couldn’t find the baby even though she was still just sitting -now laying and kicking- on the couch. I looked around and lying right there in the kitchen in plain view laid the baby. I of course tried to get her to calm down and stop throwing a fit (btw she’s a pretty typical 3 year old, but this was not usual behavior for her), and asked her if she had looked in the kitchen. The crying fit only intensified!
At this point I started to really find the whole thing comical and wanted to see how long she would keep this up. I kept simply asking her to look for it and giving her the huge hint that she should look in the kitchen. All she had to do was sit up, look and walk 10 feet to get it!
In the middle of this I had a strong sense that God wanted to teach me something through this and I started asking myself: “What am I kicking and screaming about?”
One of things that I hear often is that people long for intimacy with God. Whether it’s just for a sense of connection with God, direction for life or specific circumstances, refreshing, or empowerment most us long to feel like we have an audience with our Creator. In my own life I can tell when I’ve not had much time for resting and abiding in “the Vine” - I worry more, become short-tempered, lack perspective, begin to feel burned out and burdened. And when I get this way I start throwing a spiritual temper tantrum. I kick and scream internally about why I don’t feel connected to God or hear his voice while not changing any of my habits or patterns of life. Meanwhile, God has been giving me an open invitation to communion with him. The reality is he wants a relationship with me more than I desire to seek him. While I’m sitting there complaining about what I want, God has all along been calling me to get up and seek him. And more than that, He’s shown me how and where to seek him!
Jesus had a clear pattern of escaping the crowds regularly for prayer. Whether it was before a big event in his time on earth or just a part of his daily routine, we see Jesus modeling for his followers how important conversation with the Father is to our existence. It is interesting that this didn’t simply happen, but Jesus took initiative in carving out time for these private conversations with the Father.
Now, I have to be honest, it seems a little silly and not very cool to be writing about something as simple as making time for “quiet time” and the importance of prayer. Even just writing “quiet time” make me my skin crawl and eyes roll. But prayer one the most important things we can do for ourselves and others, yet its one the most neglected aspects of our lives. I don’t believe that the goal of existence is to have a 30-60 min quiet time each day. Instead we should be cultivating a heart and mind that are increasingly becoming aware of what God is saying to us and what he is doing around us- a state constant prayer. But we have to start somewhere. Every spiritual giant and prayer guru you can think of started with intentionally setting aside times for conversations with the Father. I dare you to find someone who you think is truly dedicated to following Jesus who hasn’t figured this out along the way.
So what’s the problem? Why do we throw emotional and spiritual fits because of lack of intimacy with God when we know the remedy to the situation can only be found in responding to his call for communion with him? I think there are two big reasons: First, Many of us would say that we are too busy or don’t have time. What this really means is that we haven’t quite figured out or experienced the value of regular times of prayer. We don’t view it as something necessary for our soul and we don’t realize how much the Father desires this time with us. Thus, we haven’t ordered our lives accordingly. This issue is not time, but value and priority. Second, for many others they have tried over and over again to develop a pattern and lifestyle of prayer and found it to be frustrating and unfulfilling. Instead of feeling refreshed we end up feeling like a failure or like God’s not holding up his end of the bargain. I can’t tell you how many times I felt this way and I know I’m not alone. However, the problem isn’t that we are spiritual flunkies or the God is def and dumb….it’s that most of us have such a limited view of what communing with God looks like. Our expectations and tools to engage in real spiritual intimacy are limited and so we end up abandoning the very thing that our soul longs for.
Here’s the deal- there are many different ways to pray and certain styles fit our personality better than others. Some of us are more emotional and firey or reflective and contemplative; some of need help focusing while others need to let our imaginations run wild; some of us need candles, music and dark room, and others need to be outdoors or in public spaces. There are so many different ways places to pray , and I’m afraid that we all miss out by either doing the same things all the time or not being attentive the unique ways God has designed us to commune with him.
And one more thing most Christians don’t want to admit: Sometimes God is silent. Sometimes prayer feels more like discipline and talking to angry spouse through a closed door. I don’t particularly like those times of prayer. But Perception is not always reality. It’s in those times when I tend to really develop character and conviction. God is usually speaking to me through other circumstances or means in my life and prayer is place where I take time to slow down and reflect what God has been up to. It doesn’t always (read rarely) end on spiritual high, but my times of prayer make me more alert to what God is doing in me and around me. More often than not, when I really since God is saying something to me, it comes not during a time of prayer, but after as I go about the business of life in obedience to things I know he’s called me to do.
So where does lead us. Over the coming weeks I’d like to share some simple practices that may help you stop throwing spiritual temper tantrums and do the thing that your heart longs for. In the mean time, I wonder:
Does any of this resonate with you experience of prayer?
What helpful tips can you offer to others who desire intimacy with God, but don’t where to start?